Brilliant Bullying Advice
At Total Self Defence, we believe the best defence you can have against a bully is to be truly confident that you are strong in mind, body, and spirit.
A positive self-image will lessen the likelihood that you will be targeted by a bully in the first place.
Using martial arts to protect you must always be a last resort.
Bully Defence on the Bus
- Sit near the front of the bus! Sitting close to the driver will make bullies and teasers think twice before acting for fear of getting caught.
- Don’t stay silent! Unless you feel that another kid will physically attack you if you speak up, remaining completely silent while kids are harassing you will only encourage them to keep doing it. Try one of the following: Directly ask them to stop. Distract them by starting a conversation that might interest them.
- Sit with friends! There is strength in numbers. You are less likely to be singled out if you are sitting with others.
Bully Defence at Lunch
- Move your seat! Ask a friend to move with you. If you are assigned to a seat, ask an adult if you can change it. If he or she says no, tell your parents so they can talk to the person in charge to get your seat changed.
- Sit close to an adult! Bullies don’t bully and teasers don’t tease around adults? So sit as close to one as you can! If an adult who is supervising doesn’t recognize the problem, please tell a teacher you trust or your parents.
- Be the first one to enter the lunchroom and the first one to leave! Don’t waste time in the halls when going to lunch or when getting back to class after lunch. Wasting time only gives bullies more opportunity to bother you.
Bully Defence in the Halls
- Always be aware of who is ahead of you! If you see a bully or teaser ahead of you, DON’T pass the person and give him or her opportunity to bother you by noticing that you are there! Take your time and slow down a little so they get further ahead of you.
- Always be aware of who is behind you! Don’t allow a bully or teaser to stay directly behind you in the hall. He or she will most likely follow you until you have reached a part of the school with no teachers around in order to harass you without fear of being caught. If you notice a bully or teaser behind you, stop and let him or her pass. Stop in to say hello to a favourite teacher or go to the front office or the nurse’s office to say hello.
- Go a different way when possible! If your school has a first and second floor you may have a choice of taking more than one way to class. Choose the safest way even if the safest one is the longest one. It is worth the longer walk to prevent giving the bully or teaser an opportunity to bother you.
Bully Defence Online
- Don’t respond to the message! Although it is very tempting to tell a bully off, it is not a good idea. This may only get the bully angry and cause more problems for you. The bully also can print out your message and use it against you by showing it to teachers or to the principal to say you were the one who started the problem and not the other way around.
- Get out of the chat room! If someone is making fun of you or is threatening you in a chat room, leave that room so the person doesn’t have the opportunity to continue. Take down the screen name and report the situation to your online provider.
- Print out any threatening or harassing messages! You can’t prove it is happening if you do not print out the evidence. Show the printed message to your parents. It is against the law to threaten or harass someone online.
- Report inappropriate messages to your parents and your online provider! Most online services will suspend individuals who violate online rules. Let the offender get what is coming and report the violation to get him or her off the net.
Bully Defence in General
- Don’t exchange insults with bullies! This will only make the bully try harder to make you look bad in front of others.
- Don’t accept getting teased to fit in with the popular group! Some kids tolerate teasing to try to be accepted by a popular group of kids. If you are hoping they will stop teasing you as soon as they get to know you, it most likely will not happen.
- Immediately report the bullying or harassment! Many popular kids are very concerned about remaining popular, not only with their classmates but also with their teachers. Mention what is happening to a teacher or counsellor you trust. A student talking to an adult in this situation may be enough to stop the offending behaviour.
- Don’t join in the teasing if your friends harass someone else. If your friends make fun of someone, you can say something like “Hey, leave him alone. He’s a good guy.” Don’t feel you need to join in the teasing to fit in.
Bully Defence Using Come-Back Lines
The key to using come-back lines is to avoid the temptation to trade name calling or personal insults with the bully or teaser. A great comeback line is brief and to the point, and leaves the bully or teaser feeling that he or she did not get to you!
Don’t forget to always look the person in the eye and keep cool – anger is a sign that what the bully is doing is working.
Always remember that if another student is threatening physical violence toward you, don’t say anything to him or her- do your best to get away from the situation and to where a teacher or other adult is located.